Hexx-Mondette

**Personal subjects mentioned in this journal - e.g Mental Illnesses**

Hi all!

First off, thanks for the birthday wishes! I turned 30, and the birthday was a bit shite, let's be honest. Because of this whole COVID thing happening, I couldn't have a meal or a drink at the tavern or a cafe, nor have any friends/family over. So much for it being a milestone.

I do suffer from depression and anxiety, and now been clinically diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder. Don't know what it is? Crazy Ex Girlfriend on Netflix covers it fairly well) and a type of Dissociate disorder (I block out/don't remember things - especially when emotions are peaked, including happiness). Both of which are caused by trauma. So needless to say, this period has not been fun for me.

The person who was going to make my birthday cake cancelled. First upset. But that's okay, I thought, because mum bought me a chocolate ganache from Coles, chocolates, and some flowers. It was a nice surprise when I woke up, but still I was quite disappointed from the previous day.

Wanting to do something special, I managed to book a tattoo for my 30th before they closed the following day. I had a phone call early that morning saying that they weren't able to do it because the rest of the parlour had packet up and gone home. I asked my tattooist if he could do it anyways, and he said that he was not allowed to. I'm guessing that's what happens if you're part of a business. Second upset. Definitely not okay. I was quite upset. My tattooist then went on to say that he actually needed the money he would've got from his shift for groceries, and that it was his birthday the following day. After my small bout of self-pitying, I offered to buy him some shopping and deliver it to his home. He appreciated the kindness but hesitantly refused.

Luckily for me, mum understood (after crying) that I needed to do something to feel like I celebrated my birthday somewhat in this crappy time. I had been researching a new hairstyle for a rather long time and never really got around to doing it. So now, thanks to mum's help, I'm currently back and dreadlocked! AND I have started a youtube channel to document my dread journey! (If interested in watching, please ask for link)

I know many people believe that dreadlocks are dirty or smelly, and that is a common misconception. If you have a clean and healthy scalp, that means you have clean and healthy dreads. If your dreads start to smell or are beginning to get scrunchy - there is a good chance you need a deep detoxifying wash. I wash my dreads every day/every second day because I know I have eczema on my head and any longer than that can cause me irritation. I will post some recent selfies to show you they are quite short and floofy. They are in the babylock stages and will tighten and shrink within the next 6-12 months. Feel free to ask questions/send products/ask for shoutouts etc and I will answer/critique them in my videos!

Stay safe everyone! Let's hope this passes soon. x